I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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