why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I want a musical about memes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You don't make any sense
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