time to smoke my breakfast
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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