If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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