my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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