I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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