I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize