Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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