Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
