They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
