the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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