i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize