I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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