@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
