I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
