It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
