this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
