I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
