Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
