Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
