remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
