he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm too high and old for this...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
