Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize