Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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