escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
