We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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