im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
