You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
