I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
