i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
