i permit you to call me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
