I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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