if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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