no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you made out with another girl for some wings
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize