i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
