i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
