She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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