I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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