I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
