my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
