She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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