Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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