Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
