How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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