Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
