I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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