..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
