; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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