ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
