Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
