Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
