Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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