Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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