Quick, to the slutcave!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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