Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
