I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
