those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
