I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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