I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
