GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
