Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize